The only constant you can rely on is change. There will always be change. If I could highlight, underline and emphasize the word “change” consider it done.
Change is always going to happen and it’s how we prepare, and react to change that determines its effect on us.
It can be subtle, like how your kids grow, yet be a shock to the system when you focus on it — how did they go from K-12 in a blink of an eye?
Or change can bitchslap you right across the face, knock you down, send you reeling, and have you on hands and knees praying for mercy. Ugly crying may ensue, and desperate pleas to the Universe to change your circumstances can happen.
But it’s not until we decide to do something about it will we begin to work our way into and through change.
Whatever is flexible and living will tend to grow; whatever is rigid and blocked will wither and die. — Laozi
We all have goals and aspirations that we want to see come to fruition, yet many of us avoid honing the skills that will allow us to get there because that takes time… and who has the time?
And if it’s time we lack, then patience cannot exist. Nowadays we want everything right now, and we’re serious about wanting it right now!
We want to shed 20 pounds in two weeks, we want 100 million followers in 2 months, we want to be loved by others before we can love ourselves — oh, ouch!
And we want it now. What happens when it doesn’t happen that quickly?
We have a pity party and we give up. We don’t see the point in carrying on so we dwell, complain, bring up the recurring narrative about our sorry circumstances, and we don’t change.
What a waste.
Persistence and flexibility are what keep you going.
Change can truly suck. It can rock your world and leave you questioning everything in your life… everything.
It can make you not want to go on, to stop right where you’re at, and never move again. It keeps the windows closed, the blinds drawn, and the covers over your head.
There is no beeline to happiness.
Your resolve has to be stronger than your willingness to give up.
It begins by deciding. You decide that enough is enough and you find strength in that. You decide. That’s the first step.
The path is never laid out before you, you have to cut it back, hack at the overgrown weeds and occasional Oak trees that are in your way, and no, you can’t see all the way through to the end but you have faith that it’s there.
Your resolve makes you persistent. And your ability to be flexible in your approach is what will make you successful. People make amazing sh*t happen when their resolve is stronger than any rejection, delay, or unforeseen diabolical event.
Look at Colonel Sanders, Howard Shultz of Starbucks, JK freakin’ Rowley... she was living in her car at one point! I’m sure that wasn’t in her plan. And it didn’t stop her from chasing her dream.
Sly Stallone was rejected by talent scouts over 1,500 times (I mean, I can kinda see why… but a life without Rocky? I couldn’t imagine!)
The difference is they had the resolve. The determination. The guts to go after what I’m sure people in their lives we saying, dude, it’s not gonna happen!
Learning is being flexible. If you’re desperate to make a change in your life, and it can be anything — losing weight, eating better, giving up a vice, following your passion — if you want it badly enough, being flexible in your approach when the sailing is anything but smooth is what’s going to get you there. And it happens to be the fastest way as well.
Think about it, how much time have you wasted stopping, starting, stopping, starting… living in the loop?
No matter what it is, don’t talk yourself out of it by belittling yourself. Don’t say you’re “not ____ enough” fill in the blank with any self-defeating word because we do that to ourselves all the time. That’s living in the loop.
The point is to stay strong in your resolve, but remain flexible in your approach because it’s never, ever a straight and narrow path to fulfillment.
Rant over ;)
AM Costanzo is a wellness coach, a motivational junkie, loves a-ha moments, and loves to help people feel strong, powerful, and downright fabulous in body and mind!