If You’re Serious About Creating Change In Your Life, Start By Doing This One Thing

It’s not until I do this that I know I mean business

Wants and desires come and go all the time, some as small and fleeting as a flurry of snowflakes, and some as big and daunting as the rock of Gibraltar.

Let’s be honest though, size doesn't really matter all that much. When we want something bad enough, we figure out a way to get it.

The bigger things tend to be slightly more daunting, however. Those are the things that if I truly want to see come to fruition, I have to get serious about, and that can be scary.

That tends to create all sorts of feelings and emotions, and past experiences, — good or bad — come rushing to the surface, causing great excitement and energy, usually with a side of fear and uncertainty.

No matter the height of the mountain I must climb, there is one thing that is true for me, and most likely for you.

If I want it badly enough, there is one thing I must do first.

How Fed Up Are You?

How big is this thing you’re going after? Is it 20 lbs you’re looking to lose? Is it wanting to feel like you have control over food? To stop snacking all the time? Is it getting off certain medications and regaining control over your health?

How fed up with your current situation are you… really? Is it a minor tug, an annoyance you’d like to see cleared up? Is it really important right now in life, is your current situation all that primed to deal with this right now? Is it something you’d like to see happen but are not all that vested in at the moment?

Or are you beyond frustrated? Do you feel like you’re underwater, hands tied behind your back and you’re sinking faster than a cinderblock? Are you sick of dealing with this situation, day in day out?

If you’re at the end of your rope, if you can’t handle another day being in the situation you are in, there is one thing you must do before you do anything else.

You must drive your stake into the ground.

Dig it in deep with as much emotion as you can muster. Be fierce in your stance. Own it!

Let it symbolize your will to not give up, or give in, no matter what may come your way. You’re beyond fed up and what you’re going after has no other choice than to show up and exist.

That means zero excuses. That means no internal conversation, no negative banter, no being talked out of anything. It means showing up, determined and ready to work. No. Matter. What.


Chatter will come, and it’s easy to give in to it and push aside your commitment.

That’s why you need to remind yourself every day where that stake is and what it represents. Every decision you make going forward, you have to stand it against that stake and determine if it’s supporting it, or weakening it, slowly pulling it from the ground.

Best Practices

Write it down. Write down what you intend to accomplish and how you’re going to do it.

For example, I want to write and publish an article every day for the month of March. That’s a big, hairy, time-consuming goal.

I could easily talk myself out of this (and I have many times) because there is housework to be done, kids to play with, food to be made, a small business to grow (I’m also a health coach so I need to find paying clients!), and a husband to spend time with. But I’ve toyed with this goal for so long that I finally decided to drive my stake into the ground because I’m fed up with the back and forth, should I try, shouldn’t I! It’s either now or never. I either go after it fully committed, or I let it go.

So what I did next was I wrote down all the excuses I could possibly imagine popping up, and I came up with equal and opposite anti-excuses. Turns out, it’s not that difficult to go up against a lame excuse. (And I have a lot of those!)

Next, I gave myself one action step a day that will get me to move toward achieving this goal. This allows me to know exactly what I have to do, and what I have scheduled for the day instead of letting the day have its way with me, which tends to happen a lot.

This allows me to wake up full of commitment, full of focus, and full of fierce determination.

What is on your plate that has been there for too long? What are you fed up hemming and hawing over and just want to once and for all go after it?

Figure out what it is, decide by driving your stake into the ground and set up your non-negotiables, the things you are committed to showing up for, and the things you’re no longer going to allow to get in your way. (And that could even be you and your habits!)

Have your list of anti-excuses by your side and get to achieving the things you want most in life. It’s going to be worth the effort, I promise you.

But remember, the most important thing you can do…

Is to drive that stake into the ground, stand tall and go after your goal with everything you’ve got!

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AM Costanzo is a motivational junkie, loves a-ha moments, and works hard to help others feel strong, powerful and downright fabulous in body and mind!

I write about wellness, weight loss, and creating healthy habits. The ability to have a healthy and happy life lies within you! www.amcostanzo.com

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