4 Insightful Questions to Answer When Giving Begins to Hurt

When you’re uncertain, how do you become certain?

AM Costanzo
3 min readJul 31, 2022


Photo by Tim Mossholder on Unsplash

How do you stick with something when you know it isn’t working?

When is it ok to say, “I’m moving on from this. I’m no longer ok with settling.”?

How do you decide to move on from something?

It’s a two-way street, isn’t it? Give, and fulfillment comes to you. What about when nothing useful comes back? Do you cut your losses? Do you keep giving even though it begins to hurt?

When it begins to hurt, how do you make it stop? How do you make the time to stop? You need to keep feeding the mill because it goes around and around never hesitating, or stopping for a fleeting moment to change course.

Is this what you envisioned? Did you ever have a vision? Was there ever enough time to stop and create a vision? (Of course not, there’s never enough time! ❌⏰)

You forgot the vision. You’ve been buried under the influence of time — and there never being enough of it — and now how can you stop midway? The mill keeps on circling, you can’t stop it to create a vision now, can you?

4 questions to ask yourself when you’re uncertain of your next move.

What’s my vision? What do I see on the horizon? Create a vision that pulls you toward it. Not something that jabs at you from behind to move forward. Become your own leader. Detail your vision — but know that it can be fluid, it can change a little day to day. Nothing is set in stone. Have a vision that pulls you forward, that you’re excited about. Write it down.

What’s my story? What is it about this vision that pulls you toward it? What does it mean to you? How will it feed you? Nourish you? Can you release enough of your past stories and break the invisible shackles that have been holding you back? Write it down.

What can I use that I already have to get me living that vision? Use the special tools you already have. Not fear, doubt, worry, or anxiety. Those tools are a dime a dozen and everyone has them. They’re not unique. They’re boring and ineffective if you want to walk in the direction of your vision. Use what you’ve been given, that was only given to…



AM Costanzo

Accountant turned Graphic Designer turned Personal Trainer turned Writer. I write about wellness, mindfulness, fitness and doing that thing that lights you up!