Two for Tuesday

2021 Should Not be About “Fixing” Yourself

Choose to love yourself instead.

The only real fire to cultivate is the fire inside of you. Nothing external will cultivate it. The greater your internal fire is, the more people will want it. ~ James Altucher, Author of Choose Yourself

Cultivating the fire within has a better ring to it than wanting to lose 20lbs in the new year, wouldn’t you agree? It sounds better than convincing myself I need to workout more, eat less junk food, be more social, and make more money — ye typical new year’s fodder.

I want to cultivate the fire within! I want to nurture the ideas and desires, take them from a low-burn to an almighty blaze.

As we close out this shitty year, perhaps we can glean a sliver of a silver lining, see the opportunity it provided instead of the fear-mongering it produced.

Life is incredibly uncertain, why am I going to come down on myself for the few extra pounds and the many more lazy mornings I spent in bed with my littles instead of the workouts I could have gotten in, or the extra work I could have produced?

I don’t want this new year to be about all the things I need to do to “fix” myself so I’m up to date with industry standards. Nah, not this year. This year I’m going to work on cultivating the fire within.

That’s why I’ve decided, and you are my witness, I’m going to write more — because being creative fuels my fire. I’m going to write more so I can 1) get better at it, and 2) so I can build up my confidence and try my hand at fiction writing — something I haven’t done since grade school but I remember the stories I used to write. One in particular won a contest my 5th grade teacher had—now this was not a major achievement that you brag about — no, this contest was writing a story that involved describing the most decadent sounding dessert.

Once we shared our stories, as a class we took a vote to see whose dessert was the most creative and descriptive (and obviously something we’d all want to eat) and mine won!

The real zinger to this win was that I had to produce this dessert and bring it in as class treat. I remember my mother coming in to school with this big cooler and the most obscene looking dessert — words are prettier than the real thing sometimes! All I remember about this dessert was its name — Marshmallow Marie!

And that’s my writing claim to fame… so far ;)

So here’s how we’re going to do this.

First, figure out what lights us up.

You’ll know when you hit the mark, you’ll feel it! Go with that feeling. Unearth some crazy dream or something simple that you’ve been too afraid to pursue. Big, little, just right, doesn’t matter. If it’s important to you, it’s time to go after it.

If 2020 has taught us anything, it’s that saying “that’ll never happen” is a fool’s paradise. Use that to your advantage.

Next, we are never going to say “I don’t have time, and I don’t have the proper resources” — blah.

Rubbish. If it’s important to you, you'll make the time and you’ll learn how to become resourceful. You have to stop kidding yourself.

When you’re tuned in and laser-focused, resources pop up. That’s a result of your brain turning into an idea machine — ever notice how it won’t stop until something is figured out? (Or how it won’t let you get back to sleep once you let it loose to worry about the future? It’s like a mouse on a wheel!) Your brain is a persistent mother. Use it to cultivate that flame and become resourceful.

2021 will be about choosing ourselves. It won’t be about “fixing” what we think is wrong, we can leave all that worthless thinking in 2020’s capable hands.

If you’re ready like I am, let’s make a plan to focus on doing that thing, or many things that we’ve been meaning to do, but haven’t for one lame reason or another.

Let’s cultivate the fire within!

In case fitness is your jam, and you’re having trouble getting into the flow, I do have a free 14-Day Perky Butt Challenge that can get you started up again! (But this is only for those who are choosing themselves, not “fixing” themselves!)

AM Costanzo is a wellness coach, a motivational junkie, loves a-ha moments, and loves to help people feel strong, powerful, and downright fabulous in body and mind!

I write about wellness, weight loss, and creating healthy habits. The ability to have a healthy and happy life lies within you!

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